Twilight Holidays
by Crystal Stones
Summary: Collection of one shots of the holidays, Cullen Style. Includes Halloween, Christmas, New Years Day, Valentines Day, April Fools Day titled Twilight Down the Toilet, courtesy of Emmett ,and the latest: Easter, and read about the Easter Emmett. R&R please!
1. Hallowen Bash

**This is now my first one-shot and my sixth fic! Cool. I got this idea while I was shopping. I know that Halloween's over, and I'm too late. Oh well. The reason I put this here is because I haven't seen any other fic with a similar idea, and I thought it was worth trying. **

**They're all vamps here, OK? This is set after Breaking Dawn, so even Bella is a vampire. **

**Hope you like! This is dedicated to JOANNA! Happy Birthday!!!**

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Halloween Bash

Bella's POV:

"Edward!" I yelled. "Alice, Rosalie, bring out Renesmee, Jasper and Emmett!"

"Bella, you look beautiful. As always," a smooth and velvet voice coming from behind me caught me by surprise.

"So do you," I smiled, admiring his appearance as he started to kiss me.

We were all getting ready for Fork's annual Halloween Bash. This was its thirteenth. They have never tried it. First, we could all play trick-or-treat, going from house to house. I know we're too old to do that, but everyone's doing it. Plus, Renesmee insisted on it, and who could resist her? (A/N: They _are_ old.) She wouldn't really eat the candy; she just wanted to go there for fun. After, we would go to the big plaza and enter the contest. It was a costume contest, with different categories. There are Best Costume Award, Scariest Award, Funniest Award, Most Unique, blah blah blah… but what I wanted to win the most was Best Group Picture.

Edward, Alice, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Renesmee and I are joining that. As what? Simple.

We're going as vampires.

Of course, it is easy to act like one if you are one.

"We're here!" Alice yelled as the rest of them came bounding down the stairs, breaking our kiss.

"Get ready for the pictures!" Carlisle, my father-in-law said.

We all squeezed together as he took a shot. He then showed it to us.

We looked stunning, with perfect flawless features, pale skin, deep eyes, and of course, our costumes. Our eyes weren't very red, as we went on a hunting trip a while ago.

Then Emmett started laughing. Big, loud, laughs. A while later, it got annoying.

"Emmett, shut up!" Rosalie glared at him.

"Sorry," he managed to choke out between guffaws. "It's just that, I can't believe we're going as the…_Volturi._"

Yes, we were dressing up as the Volturi. Ironic, huh? But we won't tell anyone what we are; we'll just say we're vampires. It's just our little family joke.

Edward is Aro, Emmett is Caius, and Jasper is Marcus. We girls are their wives. Renesmee was our little child. Well, not so little. She now looks about… ten.

The guys were wearing deep blood-red cloaks, and the rest of us wore long gowns in the color red. Renesmee wore her own little dress, courtesy of Alice.

Jasper looked at the screen of the camera again, this time more carefully. The, to our amazement, he burst out laughing, too.

"Yeah… I… I get his po - point," he laughed.

And pretty soon, we were all laughing. Emmett was now crying tears of joy.

"Children," Esme, my mother-in-law said gently. "You have to go now. It's getting late."

It took us a few more minutes to compose ourselves. We would quiet down, then someone, (usually Emmett) would burst out laughing again, making everyone follow.

Finally, we calmed down. We went out, arm in arm with our husbands, and got out. Renesmee was in between me and Edward.

"First stop, the Stanley's," Alice directed.

We headed towards their house. Emmett went up first and rang their doorbell.

"In a minute!" a very familiar voice yelled. We heard some footsteps, and a flustered Jessica wearing a princess gown opened the door. Her eyes grew large as she saw us.

"What the… Edward? Bella? Is that you?!?" Jessica asked incredulously, no doubt shocked at my perfection. She had never seen me ever since the… _transformation_.

"Hello Jessica. Long time no see," I said smoothly in my perfect voice.

Her jaw dropped open. "What are you guys supposed to be?"

"Vampires," Emmett said loudly. So loud in fact that Jessica jumped back.

"Oh. _Oh. _Uh…Hi Emmett," she said weakly. "Alice, Jasper…"

"Rosalie," she said shortly after a pause. No doubt intimidated by her beauty.

Rose growled quietly. I nudged her.

"Hi Jessica!" Renesmee piped up beside me. She started to touch her but I yanked her hand back. God knows Jessica _cannot_ know about Renesmee's gift.

"Who is this?" she asked in shock.

"This is Renesmee, our daughter," Edward cut in before I could say something.

"Oh my… _Oh…_," she muttered. It took her a long time to regain her composure.

"Well. I'll go get the candies," she said with fake brightness, going inside.

Edward nudged me. "Mike's in there, you know?"

"No kidding!" I exclaimed. "They're still together?"

He nodded. "I feel bad for the guy. Right now, Jessica's ranting to him that we already have a child but they still don't," he paused. "I think it's her way of asking him to propose to her. Hmm… never knew they were that serious. Now he's wondering why he stayed with her all this time… and now they're coming out. Careful, Mike wants to see you."

I grinned. With the new me, I can handle anything. The door opened and out came Mike. He then gaped like a fish out of water.

"Bella…wow, you changed," he looked at me in awe. He looked the same with the gelled blond hair and cute baby face. He was wearing a prince's outfit. Oh yes, a princess and a prince. _Very_ original. He looked at Edward and his face hardened. "Cullen."

"Newton," he nodded with a cold glare. After a short time, Alice spoke up.

"Hi Mike!" she chirped. "Meet Renesmee!"

"Hello Mike," Renesmee waved, her bronze ringlets bobbing up and down.

"Hello," he said, wincing.

"Ugh! Move it, people!" a voice yelled.

We all turned to see Lauren dressed in a witch outfit. _Very_ fitting.

"Oh my God! Edward? Is that you?" she shrieked, ignoring the rest of us. What are we, chopped liver? I think _not._

"Lauren," Edward nodded coolly.

"Lauren," I interrupted coldly. "This is Renesmee, _our child_." Beside me, I heard Emmett smirk.

"Oh."

She was in shock.

"Lauren, Jessica's inside waiting for you," Mike interrupted wearily as she made her way in huffily. He turned to Renesmee. "Here. Get your candy." He dropped a fistful of sweets in her basket.

He looked at us. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go." And with that, he turned around and slammed the door shut.

"Come on! Let's go to Bella's house!" Alice persuaded us.

On the way there, Edward whispered to me, "Did you see Mike wince when he saw Renesmee?"

I nodded.

"Let's just say he got a _very _disturbing mental image," he smirked.

"Serves him right," I grinned wickedly.

We didn't stay there for a long time. Charlie, of course, was delighted to see Renesmee. Once we were about to leave, she kissed him sweetly on the cheek and hugged him. He smiled happily and wished us luck in the costume contest. Of course, he had no idea that we were going as the Volturi, but since he knew the truth, the joke wasn't wasted on him.

"Bye now!" he called as we left.

We went to so many houses. Renesmee's basket was now overflowing with candies.

"Can we go to Jacob's house now?" Renesmee asked eagerly.

"OK," I consented.

"But make it quick," Emmett said.

We went to Billy's house. I let Renesmee ring the doorbell, knowing Jake would answer. We had already arranged it.

"Jakey!!!" Renesmee squealed happily when he opened the door. Even though she looks ten, she's still four-year-old at heart.

"Hi Nessie," he grinned, using his nickname for her. "Hi Bella, Edward, other bloodsuckers." He didn't say it with hatred anymore. We had gotten close with the werewolves. Their scent didn't even bother us anymore. Well, maybe a _little_ bit.

"Hey!" Emmett yelled playfully.

Jacob just grinned wolfishly at him. He was dressed up as, what else?

A werewolf.

But of course, the costume he had on looked nothing like the real werewolf.

"Going as a pack?" I grinned.

"Yup," he answered. "Let me guess. A vampire coven?"

"Very good," Edward clapped his hands.

"Hello," Quil emerged from the door, a little Claire in tow. Ever since he imprinted on her, he has never left her side.

"Hi Claire!" Renesmee waved. "Want my candies?"

Claire squealed happily. Renesmee poured all her candies into her basket.

"Twank you, Nwessie," Claire sang.

"Can we go now?" Jasper asked impatiently.

"SAM! EMBRY! LEAH! SETH!" Jake yelled. "LET'S GO!"

They quickly came out. They were similarly dressed up as werewolves.

"Nice," Rosalie commented dryly. "Vampires and Werewolves."

"See? We're unique. We're bound to win," Seth joked.

She just rolled her eyes.

We spent a few more hours trick-or-treating. Then at eleven, we made our way to the plaza. It was filled with all sorts of people. The decorations were amazing. This year, it was Haunted House.

When we made our way through, we got all sorts of stares. After all, it's not everyday you see a coven of vampires with a pack of wolves. Plus with a school of fish, a pride of lions, a herd of cows…

Just kidding.

But we _did_ get stares. We saw some odd people also dressed up as vampires, but they didn't look anything like us. They weren't ghostly pale for once. Nor were they flawless. I had to keep reminding myself that I was once one of them.

We just stood there and talked with each other. Jacob kept on looking at Renesmee like Quil looked at Claire, I looked at Edward…

Like a fool in love. Just don't take it _too_ literally.

A clammy hand clamped on my shoulder. I spun around instinctively, ready to beat him up.

"Angela?" I said in disbelief.

"Bella? It really is you!" Angela, my best friend squealed.

"It's been so long. A lot of years have flown by…" she mused.

I then saw the sparkling diamond on her finger.

"Wow!" I squealed. "Ben proposed!"

"I sure did," Ben said, popping out from behind her.

She blushed prettily. "Yeah. The wedding's next month. And you are invited."

"Really? Thanks!" I grinned excitedly.

"Hello? *tap* Hello? Is this thing on? *tap tap* Hello? *more tapping*."

We all looked to see Lauren, in her witch costume there on stage.

"_Very _appropriate," Embry nodded.

"Very good," Quil clapped animatedly.

"Hello? *screech* Hello? Oh. Um, uh, welcome! Hello everybody!" she greeted lamely. Who chose her to be the emcee?

"Wow. She still sucks," Ben commented.

"Tell me about it," Leah muttered. Sam smirked.

"She was a witch, still a witch," Rosalie sneered.

"Yep," Jasper muttered.

"And, uh," Lauren paused. She got a piece of paper from her pocket and started reading. "I-would-like-to-thank-you-all-for-coming-I-now-call-on-Billy-Black-to-reveal-this-year's-winners."

She bowed down quickly, making her hat fall into the punch.

"Aah! MY HAT!" Lauren screeched. We tuned her out.

We saw Billy wheeling himself to the center stage. He got the microphone and started speaking.

"I would like to once again welcome everyone!" he yelled.

"Yeah!" The crowd cheered wildly.

"Every year, we have a contest. Winners usually get a free coupon to some place. But this year, since it's the thirteenth Halloween Bash, we are having something new. Winners under the Best Costumes will receive a five hundred dollar check! But, all, I repeat, _all _the winners of the Best Group picture will get a free one week stay at… Hawaii!"

The crowd erupted into cheers.

"Wooh!" Jacob hooted. "Can you imagine that?"

"This is _so_ frustrating!" Alice suddenly groaned. "I can't see the future because it isn't final yet, and even Billy doesn't even know! Plus, it involves werewolves and it's all black and fuzzy!"

"Let us begin…" he said. "Will those entering the following categories please come in front for the judges."

The eager people went up on stage. A few minutes later, the judging was complete.

Billy rattled off the winners of different awards. I was happy for Angela and Ben when they won the Best Couple in Costume.

Finally, it was time for the Best Group Picture.

"Will those entering the Best Group Picture Award come up on stage," he announced.

We went up on stage quickly, the werewolves following.

"Edward, do your thing," I whispered quickly.

"OK. That first judge likes us… very good… he's voting for us!" Edward smiled. "The second one is… voting for the Little Mermaid theme!"

We all groaned. They _were_ pretty good. It was complete, with an Ariel, Eric, King Triton, Flounder, Sebastian, and all those other characters.

"That third guy's voting for us!" He grinned triumphantly. "And so is the fourth one. And the fifth... is voting for the scary monsters." Edward frowned. "And they are choosing the winner… it's us!"

Score.

"YAY!" Alice squealed loudly. The judges looked up to see what was wrong. Alice just waved impishly at them. They shook their heads and called Billy, giving him an envelope. He got the microphone and started ripping the envelope open.

"And the winner of the Best Group Picture is… The Little Mermaids!"

They burst into cheers.

WHAT?!?

"WHAT? NO HAWAII?!?" Jacob exclaimed.

We all glared at Edward.

"What?" he looked at us.

"Oh, dude, you _lied_?" Emmett accused.

Edward frowned.

The first judge frowned and called Billy. He shook his head and told him something.

"Oh, I believe there was a mistake. The Little Mermaids won the First Runner Up. Grand prize goes to the Vampire Wolves!"

Yes. Vampire Wolves. That was our name. Don't ask. At least it isn't Leeches and Mutts.

"Yes!" I yelled.

"We won!" Renesmee squealed happily.

"Hawaii, here I come!" Jacob yelled happily.

Then, I truly felt happy. I truly belonged to this family.

_**In Hawaii, 4:30 P.M.**_

"Go Renesmee!" Jacob whooped as she fell from her board again. She swam happily and climbed back on.

This is already our third day here. Since it is really bright outside, we go out rarely, only when twilight starts. We just spend our time chatting in our hotel rooms, or sometimes we play chess. It is a really funny thing, chess with Alice and Edward. When it is already near to midnight, we all sneak outside and swim. Renesmee likes surfing. I know that swimming at night is very weird, but if we go in the morning, we'll be all shining…

Alice and Rosalie were playing volleyball with Emmett and Jasper while teaching themselves how to hula. It was a very funny sight, but they were still winning. The werewolves were playing their own game of speed, and Leah was winning. Jacob was just contented with being with Renesmee.

"Bella," Edward sighed as he parted his lips open and kissed me.

"Mmm…" I sighed as I kissed him back. I didn't need oxygen anymore; we could go on forever, literally.

"This is perfect," he smiled crookedly, breaking the kiss.

"Yes it is. But it kinda sucks that we can't go out in broad daylight," I said.

"Regretting being a vampire?" he teased.

I made a face. "Never. I don't care what happens. All I want is to be with you."

"We will be together forever," Edward promised.

"Forever," I agreed. "And ever and ever and ever."

He kissed me once again.

"We are so lucky," I said a while later. "I got the best friends anyone can ask for, a wonderful family, a beautiful daughter, and a handsome and caring husband. Plus, I get to enjoy this forever."

"And that would have never happened if you never came to Forks," Edward shuddered.

I leaned on his shoulder comfortably.

"I love you," I said once more.

"I love you more" he placed an arm around my shoulder.

And we sat there contentedly in each other's arms as twilight began.

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**I was actually thinking of including the Volturi in this story, but I was like, Neh, never mind.**

**And, I would also like to dedicate this story to Mandy. The ending is perfect for you and Jazz. (This really was a coincidence.) Hope you'll have your happy ever after!**

**Review please!**

**Jen**


	2. Christmas With the Cullens

**Here's part two of Twilight Holidays. And I typed this listening to Twilight songs, and I'm in a really happy mood. Enjoy! This is dedicated to Honey Strawberry. You know who you are...**

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Christmas with the Cullens

Jasper's POV:

"Come on! Can you tell me what my gifts are?" Renesmee asked.

"Nope," I replied.

"Please? Come on! Tell me!" Renesmee pleaded… which she has been doing for the last hour.

"Renesmee," I said patiently. "I am not telling you. Can't you just wait for a few more hours? Plus, if I told you, Alice would kill me."

Renesmee took my hand. Soon, my head was flooded with images of her crying her heart out.

Laughing, I drew her hand away.

"Why did you pick me, anyway? Of all the people here, you picked me!" I complained.

"Well, you were the last one I haven't asked yet," Renesmee replied.

"OK… I'm bringing you to your parents," I said.

"Jasper!" I heard Edward yell. He must have read my mind. "You occupy her!"

"See? Your dad's eager to see you," I chuckled. Standing up, I led out of the room.

"You're no fun!" she pouted.

Using my "skill", I made Renesmee calm and happy.

"I take it back," she decided.

I heard a piano faintly playing. Grinning, I opened the door loudly.

"Mommy! Daddy! Nessie's here!" I announced loudly.

Grinning at Bella and Edward's irritated faces, I pushed Renesmee inside. Edward was playing "Bella's Lullaby" and I had just interrupted them.

"Jasper won't tell what my gifts are!" Renesmee said.

"Come here," Edward chuckled. "Now, you have to wait until tonight. OK, Nessie?"

Smiling, I shut the door quietly and left them. They were so happy together. I often wished Alice and I could have a child, but that is impossible, plus we wouldn't get any time for ourselves.

"Oomph!" Uh-oh. I bumped to the little pixie. "Jasper! Watch where you're going!"

"Hello, Alice." I calmed her down quickly. I gave her a short but sweet kiss on the lips.

"Jasper, on second thought, glad I bumped into you. I need help in gathering everyone for one last practice."

"Practice?"

"Yep. Now go!" she commanded in her high soprano voice as she whirled around and went down the stairs, lightning quick.

A few minutes later, we were all gathered down in our huge living room. Emmett inserted a disc he got from Edward and music filled the room.

"Now everyone, now, we are going to sing with the music. But when we do the actual carolling, no music, so master it, everyone!" Alice ordered. The song has been around for _ages_, yet she's acting as if it's brand new.

"See guys? I should have been the one to organize everything! I'm relaxed, while she's all hyper and demanding!" Emmett joked.

Alice was instantly in front of him. "What did you say?" she demanded.

"You're the sweetest and kindest pixie I have ever met, and I'm the most irresponsible person ever," he teased. Alice relaxed and walked away.

Rosalie kissed his cheek. "And you're the funniest teddy bear I ever had."

"Wow. What happened to the real Rosalie?" Bella asked innocently.

"Guys. Shut. Up." Alice interrupted. Sighing, I calmed everyone down, again. Man, I was calming a lot of people today.

Finally, we were able to practice. Alice made us sing "Joy to the World" so many times, I despised the song.

We finished singing, and Alice finally decided we were already good enough so she let us rest. Bella pressed a button on the remote, and the song started again.

"Bella," Edward groaned. "I am sick the song. Turn it off!"

"Not a chance," she grinned. Then to my surprise, she started singing.

"_Joy to the world_

_James is dead_

_We barbecued his head_

_What happened to his body?_

_We flushed it down the potty_

_And round and round it goes _

_And round and round it goes_

_And ro-ound and ro-ound_

_And round it goes!"_

Then, Bella bowed down, her face in a wide grin.

I clapped my hands and laughed. Soon, everyone was clapping and laughing.

"Dude! You're good! Never knew you had it in you!" Emmett guffawed.

"I do my best to hide my talents," Bella bowed smoothly with vampire grace.

"I am so proud of you," Edward congratulated her.

"_Joy to the world_

_Rose is- _OWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!"

"Now, what were you singing?" Rosalie said sweetly, cracking her knuckles.

"I wasn't planning on saying you were dead!" Emmett defended himself. "Well, technically, you _are_ dead, but- shutting up now."

"Kids?" Carlisle called, appearing at the doorway. "Shouldn't you be going now?"

"We _were_ about to go, but Rosalie and Emmett here," Alice paused and shot daggers at them. "Had to go kill each other like that."

"There, there." Esme chided gently. "Go along now."

We all went outside.

"First stop is?" I asked.

"Jessica's house?" Edward suggested, a twinkle in his eye.

"Déjà vu much?" Rosalie snorted. She paused. "Sure, let's go."

We were there for a short while, just like during Halloween. Mike was there, because they were _engaged. _First Bella, then Angela, now Jessica? Lauren's the only one left. Though who'll marry her will surely regret it.

We visited two more houses, by the order of Alice.

"Let's go to Charlie's," Bella said. "He's bound to be lonely."

"Yeah! Grandpa Charlie!" Renesmee squealed.

"Oh yeah! I forgot about his gift!" Alice smacked her head. "Wait- I'm getting it."

Ten seconds after, she was back. "Sorry it took so long," she apologized. "I had to look for it."

I placed my arm around her neck and pulled her closer. I ruffled her hair fondly.

"Hey!" she complained, smacking my hand. "Don't touch my hair!"

Few minutes later, we were at Charlie's house. Instead of entering, we started singing in smooth voices.

A surprised Charlie came out, and became even more surprised.

"Wow, my favorite vampires! You guys can sing? Hello Nessie, Bella, Edward, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie! Merry Christmas to you all!"

"Hi Charlie, and a Merry Christmas to you too!" we chorused.

"What about me?" a voice piped up.

"Jacob!" Renesmee said happily.

We gave Charlie his gift, a new fishing rod he really wanted, except he didn't want to buy it because of its expensive price. I know, because of Bella. He was extremely happy. He didn't stop thanking us for a long time. But Jacob didn't mind he received nothing. Hey, we didn't know he would be there! Though I think seeing Renesmee was enough for him.

An hour later, we had to leave. Renesmee didn't want to, because of Jacob. But we had to, since we didn't feed, because of too many preparations, and we were all extremely thirsty.

"Guys, let's go!" Alice said.

We raced to the forest, and we let our senses loose.

I found a mountain lion first, and drank its blood. I felt…refreshed. Edward found his own. Renesmee caught a deer and drained it. Emmett, to his delight, found a grizzly bear and took childlike pleasure in drinking its blood. Alice drained an elk, and Rosalie chose a lion.

A few more animals later, we were all refreshed. We were spotless, not a drop of blood on our clothes, not a hair out of place. Well, except Edward, his hair was everywhere, but that's normal.

"Dinner's finished, now can we go home and open our gifts?" Renesmee whined.

We all looked at each other.

"Well-" I began.

"I don't know…" Alice said.

"Maybe," Emmett shrugged.

"I guess, but…" Rosalie trailed off.

"Now?" Bella pouted.

"Oh guys, stop it," Edward said.

"Hey!" I complained.

"She's about to cry," he whispered quietly, so only I could hear.

"Oh." I shut up.

"We're going home now," Edward said.

"YAY! I can finally find out what my gifts are," she sang.

We ran home, in a blur. But it was okay, not so many people were out.

Edward reached the Christmas tree first. "Where did all the gifts go?" he gasped.

Emmett followed his lead. "They are all… _gone_!"

"What?!?!" Renesmee shrieked.

"You heard them," Rosalie said. "They're all gone. Except for _yours_!"

"You guys are evil!" she said, finally realizing she was tricked.

"We shall open our gifts… now!" Alice yelled.

Everyone scrambled to start ripping wrappers apart. I _may_ have something to do with the excitement… Controlling people's emotions sure come in handy.

"Hey, you know what your gifts are, don't you?" I nudged Alice.

"Duh," she rolled her eyes. "Well, except for yours. I made sure not to look, so that I would be extra surprised."

"Smart little psychic," I murmured.

Soon, Renesmee started shrieking happily. "I love this dress! And this skirt is sooooo cute! So is this top! Thanks everyone! This was sooooo worth the wait!"

We chuckled. Alice had forced us to buy outfits for Renesmee. Everyone followed, except for Bella and Edward.

"Oh, Mommy, Daddy, this necklace is so pretty!" she squealed happily.

"Glad you like it," Bella grinned.

"Jasper!" Alice exclaimed. "This locket… it's so beautiful. Thank you."

"It _is _beautiful," I agreed. "Just like you."

Beside me, Emmett made sniffling noises.

"Emmett," I growled. "Shut up dude."

"Whatever," he laughed.

"Edward, is this disc from you?" Bella interrupted.

"Yep, including your lullaby- isn't that right, Jasper?"

I ignored him and opened my own gift. A photo album, filled with pictures.

"Alice, thank you," I said sincerely. I started flipping through it, but Alice stopped me.

"We scan that later," she said firmly.

"Thank you for this awesome stereo!" Edward said. "My old one's starting to suck."

"You're welcome," we all chorused. Except for Renesmee, she was playing dress-up.

I opened Emmett's gift for me. "A baseball cap and bat?" I asked, genuinely baffled.

"What? You needed new ones," he defended himself.

Emmett is still Emmett. And Emmett is weird.

"Em! This teddy bear's so cute!" Rosalie said happily. "It reminds me of you! Thank you thank you thank you!"

"Glad you like it so much," Emmett grinned. "Hey, Bella, Edward, is this video camera from you guys?"

Bella nodded. "With that, you can capture every silly moment you have."

"Aw, thanks guys!" Emmett stood up and wrapped Bella and Edward in a crushing bear hug.

"Emmett," Edward wheezed. "I may be a vampire, but I'm not as strong as you! Let go!"

"No way. Group hug!"

We stood up and hugged them.

"Guys, let go," Bella choked out.

"Hug harder!" Renesmee cried.

"That's it," I heard Bella mutter. "Get off."

She pushed- hard. Next thing I knew, we were all falling.

"Ouch. Bella, you should have told us you were doing that. Now look, my hair's ruined," Rosalie huffed.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Bella apologized. "Here- let me make it up to you."

She went to Rosalie and hugged her again. She ruffled her hair- basically ruining it.

"Bella! You are impossible!" Rosalie shrieked. "Payback!"

So, it turned out that we spent the next few minutes hugging someone- and messing up their hair.

"Wow, Edward, your hair sure is messy," Bella giggled.

"You like it?" he grinned.

"Yep."

"So…" Edward went to Bella and rubbed his hair on her face.

"Eew! Pfft, Edward! I don't want to eat your hair!" Bella spit a few times. Edward pretended to look hurt.

"At least there wasn't any gel," Rosalie pointed out.

"Yeah. It's all dandruff," Emmett chimed in.

Edward glared at him and tackled him to the ground.

CRASH!

"What did you say? Huh? Huh?" Edward demanded.

"You are the best person in the whole wide world. And you have the best hair," Emmett said quickly.

Edward shoved him away and step back. "Got that Alice?"

"Yep, sure did."

I turned around to find out that Alice had been videotaping the whole scene.

"You planned that whole thing?" I asked. Everyone ignored me.

"Alice! Let me see!" Emmett said eagerly.

Shaking my head, I went over them to see it.

Emmett looked scared the whole time- comically scared.

"Bella, Edward, good idea on giving him that gift," I said.

"Thanks," Bella grinned. "But it was all Alice's idea."

"I saw it in a vision," she explained. "And it just _had_ to happen."

"Evil little pixie," I shook my head.

"But I'm _your_ evil little pixie," Alice smiled slyly.

"True," I shrugged.

"Come on," she called. "Don't you want to look at the pictures?"

She went out, and I followed, leaving the noise.

I followed her to our room, where she flopped down the bed and patted the space next to her.

"Sit."

I sat down and she got the book from me. She opened to the first page and pointed to the photo with a perfectly manicured finger.

"I saved all the pictures I had, ever since we met, years ago. Somehow, I have already seen of this day, and like I said earlier, it had to happen. This is the first time we celebrated you birthday- together. And here's mine. Our first family photo… and this is the first time we graduated high school- as vampires, anyway."

Soon, I was engrossed with our history together. She sure had taken a lot of pictures.

"Wait- that was Bella's birthday," I suddenly said. "When she had the paper cut, and I almost attacked her."

"Yeah, but don't think about that," Alice said. "That was a long time ago. She was still a human and you were still our newest "vegetarian". Now she's the newest one- though she does have the best control- anyway, I want you to forget about that. It's Christmas, Jasper! I want you to enjoy this!"

"The whole day, I never told you that," I suddenly realized.

"Told me what?" Alice asked puzzled.

"Merry Christmas, Alice," I said softly.

Her gaze softened. "You too, Jasper. Merry Christmas."

She set the book aside. Alice kissed me, and I knew everything was going to be alright. It was Christmas, and I was going to enjoy it- with my family, especially Alice. For how was I going to live forever without her?

* * *

**Aww… I typed the last part listening to Bella's lullaby, and I really felt happy and free. This song is **_**great**_** to listen to when you're about to sleep. Part three is about to be posted soon, and I hope you will read it. Please review! Edward wants you to! :D **

**And my little sister keeps on singing the Joy to the World song. It's annoying, plus she uses my name. Evil… Well, press the button!**

**Jen**

**P.S.- MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!**


	3. A New Year, Another Year

**Happy New Year! I just decided to post this earlier… This took me a really long time to type… If you get bored with the starting part, just skip to the ending part, where Emmett causes the ground to shake: D. **

* * *

A New Year, Another Year

Rosalie's POV:

"Get ready for the countdown!" Alice yelled.

We all stared at her.

"What? You all know how to count, right?" she said sarcastically. "So, count backwards! Five four three two one… And bam! It's the new year!"

"Alice," Bella said mildly. "We all have done this before."

"Yeah," Edward continued. "It has been century already, for some of us."

Alice looked hurt.

"Come on Alice. They're just messing with you," Jasper said smoothly. She suddenly relaxed, and all of us calmed down. Jasper was sending waves of calmness again. I sighed impatiently.

"Calm down, babe. It's a holiday, chill," Emmett whispered.

"Easy for you to say," I shot back. "You're always 'chilled!' And don't call me babe."

"Now, now, Rosie," he soothed.

"Don't call me Rosie!" I seethed. "I hate that name!"

"Rose?" he suggested.

"Do you want me to do to you what I did on Christmas when you sang that song?" I asked, smiling sweetly.

"Fine, Rosalie! Geez," he shook his head.

I suddenly smiled. This was Emmett, and this is who he is. A big cuddly teddy bear. I fondly remembered the bear he had given me for Christmas. That was surprisingly sweet; I had thought he would give me something stupid. Like the last time; he gave me a box of chocolates. I don't even eat that! I seriously wonder where his brain was when he bought that. I kissed his cheek and rested my head on his hard shoulders. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up.

"Whoa! Put me down Emmett!"

"Nope. No way I'm doing that!" he laughed.

"Bella, help me!" I pleaded desperately as Emmett continued to swing me around the room.

"What's the magic word?" Bella teased.

"Please!" I yelled.

"I don't know… What do you think, Renesmee?" Bella asked her daughter.

"Hmmm…" Renesmee mused. "Yeah, go help her, so I can see her kill Emmett after!"

"Okay," Bella laughed. "Emmett, I'm giving you a chance to put her down. So either you put her down yourself, or I _make_ you put her down Take your pick."

"I won't put her down, thank you," he said, still whirling me around the room.

"Emmett, bad choice!" Alice warned.

"Yeah, Em! It won't be pretty," Edward chimed in.

"Emmett, you should value your life more," Jasper laughed. "She is going to _kill _you man!"

"Oh, I will," I vowed.

"Bye!" Renesmee waved comically. "I'll miss you!"

"Emmett, ready?" Bella challenged.

"Oh, all right. I give up." He stopped spinning and set me down gently.

I immediately jumped back with vampire speed. I growled and bared my teeth.

"Emmett, I love you. But I have to kill you," I flashed him a quick grin.

"It's time," Alice grinned, interrupting my attack. "Gather around now, everyone!"

Shooting one last dark look towards Emmett, I went towards them. I _will _have my revenge. No one messes with me and gets away with it.

"Carlisle, Esme!" Edward yelled.

"Yes?" They were standing in the doorway, arms around each other.

"Time for the countdown!" Alice squealed.

"Hey Alice," I interrupted. "Why are you so excited, anyway? This has been happening for years, yet now, it seems as if this is the first time for you."

"This is the first time with Bella and Renesmee," she explained. "_Without_ the Volturi. So don't blame me for being all excited. Plus, something's gonna happen after- And Edward, you're not getting it out of my head, so quit trying."

"Evil psychic," Edward mumbled under his breath. Luckily, Alice didn't hear it.

"Ten!" Alice began, looking at her watch.

"Nine!" This time, Renesmee chimed in.

"Eight!" Now, it was Emmett who boomed.

"Seven!" Everyone was already counting along.

"Six!"

"Five!"

"Four!" I went nearer to Emmett. I noticed Alice and Jasper did the same.

"Three!" Carlisle and Esme faced each other.

"Two!" I placed my arms around Emmett. Bella and Edward formed a ring with Renesmee. Hmm. Maybe we should have invited Jacob here. Not. Edward shot me a death glare, having read my thoughts.

"One!"

I kissed Emmett sweetly for a long time, my anger fading, as did the others. Bella and Edward shared a quick kiss, and both kissed Renesmee on the cheek simultaneously.

Later, we broke apart. "I forgive you for doing that," I whispered. "As long as you don't do it again, you should be able to continue living forever."

"Gee, thanks. I feel so loved," he replied sarcastically.

"Ooh, you're so cute when you're pissed," I smiled, pinching his cheek.

"So guys, it's the new year!" Alice began.

We all groaned. We knew what was coming next.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked curiously.

"Don't you remember?" Edward asked. "Last year, we- oh yeah. We didn't get to do this, because of the Volturi."

"Time for you to tell us your resolutions!" Alice said.

"Kids, we have to go," Carlisle said hastily.

"But-" Alice protested.

"Alice," he looked at her in the eye.

"Fine," she consented.

They quickly left. "Hey, why do they get to escape?" Jasper complained.

"Oh, just endure it. I have a surprise after, anyway," she said mysteriously. "Bella, you go first!"

"Sure…" Bella said uncertainly. "My resolution is to… um…try to avoid… those dangerous stuff." She laughed. "If I was still a human I would have said to be less clumsy. Ha! As if that's possible. I'm done!"

"That wasn't much, but since this is you're first time, I'm giving you a chance," Alice said. "Edward?"

"To read your minds less," he shrugged. Alice glared at him.

"Wow, we sure have silly resolutions," Renesmee giggled. "Mine is to… Ooh! Bring Daddy and Jake closer."

"Good one!" Bella laughed while Edward frowned.

"My turn!" Emmett volunteered. "I won't bug Rosalie as much as I did today anymore."

"And pigs can fly," I muttered. Clearing my throat, I said, "I won't be so rude anymore."

"You said that already last year, and no effect," Alice told me. "Choose another one."

"Fine! I won't be so cold to _Bella_." I turned to Bella and shot her an apologetic look. She just grinned back at me.

Jasper said, "I will help control your emotions more to avoid chaos… Especially Alice's."

"Hey!" Alice smacked his arm lightly. "My resolution is that I will be a better pixie… And that I will bring this family closer. Starting _now._"

"Oh no," Edward groaned.

"Don't be so pessimistic. This is going to be fun," Alice promised. "Who's up for baseball?"

"Baseball?" Emmett perked up immediately.

"No, I meant sleeping. Of course I mean baseball," Alice replied sarcastically.

"What is up with you guys? Touchy much?" Emmett grinned.

"Oh, Emmett. Ignore it," Jasper said. "They're both PMS-ing."

"Yeah, Jasper included," Edward added.

"Guys!" Alice yelled, frustrated. "Listen, I had a vision. There's a thunderstorm coming, totally unpredicted. Now, it is gonna last only for two hours. So, are we going there to play, or are we just gonna waste our time arguing here? Coz if you're not going, it's you're loss. And its gonna be Renesmee's first time to play!"

The little pixie won again, and within minutes, we were all ready to go there. We went to the clearing where we always played, Emmett bouncing with excitement. We all got into positions. Alice, being the usual pitcher started played with the ball. Bella volunteered to be the umpire.

"Yo Jazz! Looks like my gift to you was useful!" Emmett called.

Jasper was wearing the cap Emmett gave him. He grinned and gave Emmett the thumbs up. "Cap's cool! Way better than the one Alice gave me!"

"Hey!" Alice exclaimed. She hurled the ball at him and it him on the stomach.

"Oof! Alice, play nice!" Jasper called, throwing the ball back to her. She caught it and went into position.

Emmett started doing his usual 'dance'- or whatever you call it- that he did every time we played baseball.

(A/N: Just play Supermassive Black Hole, and you're all set! And since I don't know the basics of baseball, the whole thing will be based on the movie- more or less, so forgive me if everything turns out wrong. I've practically memorized the baseball scene, this is all from memory. ^_^)

"It's time," Alice announced, just as thunder started overhead.

I was up first, and I set my bat. Alice lifted her feet up and swung the ball. I hit it, and WHOOSH- there goes the ball. Throwing my bat away, I started running like mad. I was about to reach it, and my body slid down on the ground. I reached the base, and then Bella declared that I was out.

"Whoo! Out!" Emmett whooped. I glared at him, and he grinned. "Babe, come on, it's just a game."

I glared at Bella as I stood up.

"Rosalie! Be nice to Bella! Remember your resolution?" Jasper smirked.

"Stupid empath," I muttered. "Like the stupid psychic."

Edward heard my thoughts, and he started laughing.

"My turn!" Renesmee squealed. "I want to try! I want to try!" She got the bat and swung it a few times, acting all professional.

"I'm ready!" she yelled. "Go, throw the ball!"

Alice giggled and did her usual pitch. I watched Renesmee from the edge of the field swing her bat… and miss the ball. Esme caught it in her glove.

"Miss!" Bella called.

Alice pitched the ball again. This time, Renesmee was able to hit it, but instead of flying towards the trees, it went flying across the field in the opposite direction.

"Foul!" Bella called.

"Once more, and you're out!" Emmett yelled. "Whoo! Out!"

"Ignore him," I advised Renesmee.

Alice threw the ball again. This time, Renesmee was able to hit it perfectly. She threw the bat away and ran. One second she was there, and then the next, she was at the base.

"Yay! I did it! I did it!" she cheered.

"Very good Nessie," Edward congratulated her.

Jasper went up next, twirling the bat. Alice smiled at him and threw the ball. He hit it and ran. Edward and Emmett tried to get the ball and jumped up high. They both missed the ball, crashing into one another, creating a loud sound.

"Hey guys, I want to try," Bella suddenly said. "Edward, you be the umpire for a while, OK?"

"Hey, that's not allowed," Emmett started to say, but Edward shot him a death glare. Huh. Poor Emmett.

Bella stood there, waiting for Alice to throw the ball. Suddenly, both Alice and Edward burst out laughing together.

"Edward! And you said you wouldn't read my mind anymore," Alice giggled.

"I never said that. What I said was that I would read your mind _less_."

"Whatever," Alice laughed. "Bella, heads up!"

She hurled the ball towards her and Bella swung the bat… Only instead of hitting the ball, she hit Emmett. How, you ask? Well, as she swung the bat, it _flew_ from her hands, towards Emmett.

THUNK

"Yow! What was that?" Emmett exclaimed.

"Bella's bat," Alice giggled.

"Oops," Bella squeaked. "Even though I'm a vampire, I still suck at sports."

"Hey, you saw that in your vision, didn't you?" I accused. "And you didn't even bother to warn Emmett."

"Well, we should have warned the bat," Edward said. Following his gaze, I looked at the bat, where it lay in several pieces with Emmett stomping over it. Oh. No wonder the ground seemed to shake.

"What are you doing?" I asked mildly.

"It hit my back," he defended himself.

"Yeah, the poor defenceless _inanimate_ object hit you, and now you are having your revenge through attacking it. Real smart Emmett. Now we're a bat short."

"No we're not. Jasper has an extra one, see?" he pointed to Jasper, who was waving it in the air, trying to get our attention.

"You're lucky… this time," I grumbled. "And can you please stop it? I don't like the ground below me shaking."

"Hey Em, I am _so_ lucky I have Alice, and I am _so_ sorry you have Rosalie," Jasper grinned.

"Shut up Jasper," I said rudely. "Some 'twin' you are. Now go play baseball with your new bat. I don't want to play right now… Maybe later."

'Suit yourself," he shrugged. Moments later, they were all playing again, as if nothing happened.

_They didn't even miss me._

I sighed. I wished that I would have fit in better. Bella even blended in with them easier than I did! Maybe because it was because I was so rude. I suddenly smiled. From now on, I would be nicer. To all of them.

"You know, you should join them. We're not complete without you," a voice whispered, startling me. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even hear _Emmett_ come here. And he's Emmett, the noisiest!

"Uh- huh." I just nodded absently.

"I'm serious!" he exclaimed, upon seeing my expression. "See, Jasper is smiling, but it doesn't reach his eyes. Alice isn't so bubbly. Bella keeps looking here anxiously, worried for you. Edward's… probably reading your mind now, wondering what's wrong with you."

I looked over towards them just in time to see Bella shoot an anxious glance at me.

"Are you alright?" Bella mouthed. I shot her a friendly smile and nodded.

"See? Told you," Emmett nudged me.

"You're right!" I suddenly decided. "This is _way_ stupid. Really, really, _really_ stupid."

"There we go! The Rose- _Rosalie_- that we all know!" Emmett cheered happily.

"Thanks Emmett," I said sincerely. "It's the new year! I should be celebrating, not sulking."

"No need to thank me," he said modestly. "I'm your husband! I lov-"

But he wasn't able to finish, because I had jammed my lips onto his, not caring that the others could see. They already saw us making out a lot of times anyway.

We kissed for a long time. I let go and faced him.

"I love you," he finished breathlessly.

"I love you too, my sweet teddy bear," I replied cheekily.

"Yep, that's me," he replied proudly.

I grinned widely. I knew there was a reason why I married this man.

* * *

**I don't think this is one of my better stories. This was extremely hard to write. I hope you liked it anyway. Now what I really want to write is part four and six! Go, please review, then at least I didn't waste days typing this… Press the pretty button!**

**Jen**


	4. Be My Valentine

**This is now the **_**third**_** time I've typed this. This **_**so**_** better be worth it. If you get tired of reading this, then at least skip to the ending and read that. **

* * *

Be My Valentine

Renesmee's POV:

"She will love this! I'm so sure of it!" Uncle Emmett babbled, pacing around the room.

"Sure she will," I rolled my eyes.

"The plan is just brilliant!" He sat down- no, _crashed_, beside me. Poor couch.

"I know. I thought of it, remember?" I reminded him.

"OK, fine, but don't tell her. Now, let's review the plan again. Before she comes in the room, I blindfold her. Then, I tie her to the chair, and then get the food-"

"No, when you tie her to the chair, tell her first it has something to do with your Valentine's present. That way, she won't break away from the chair," I interrupted him.

"Oh yeah… then, I keep the blindfold on, and I start feeding her chocolates!" he exclaimed.

I giggled. Before, Uncle Emmett asked for my help in planning a romantic moment with Aunt Rosalie. I told him to prepare a candlelight dinner and flowers and then feed her with chocolates. I added the blindfolds later on- I was joking, of course. It still hasn't entered his mind that she would be so mad when she experiences this. I was just kidding, but he took it seriously.

Us vampires hate human food, remember?

"Emmett! Where are you?" Aunt Rosalie's voice startled us.

"Uh, coming!" he boomed, getting up quickly. "Remember, not a word," he told me. And with that, he was gone.

I smiled happily. Poor Uncle Emmett. I hope Aunt Rosalie won't kill him. Then I would miss him…

My mind shifted to Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper. He said he would be Aunt Alice's slave for the day. She probably took him shopping… Poor Uncle Jasper.

Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme are going to Isle Esme, the island he brought for her. I really want to go there someday.

I'm going to miss Mommy and Daddy. He's taking Mommy to a second honeymoon in Venice, Italy. They all have someone. Except me. I remembered Jacob. He never visited me. The entire day, he never even called. Depressed, I lay down. I felt something under the pillow, and I took it out. It was a card.

_Dear Renesmee,_

_Roses are red_

_Sugar is sweet_

_But the beauty of your face_

_Nothing can beat_

_Love,_

_J. W._

Ooh! Cool… I wonder who this came from. Jake? But what does W. stand for?

"Nessie! We're going now!" Daddy announced. I ran out, tucking the card in my pocket.

"Bye Daddy, bye Mommy!" I said, hugging them both.

"Bye Nessie," she said, kissing my cheek.

"I'll miss you!" I called. They waved as they went out. I heard Daddy say, "Bella, you will _never_ believe this…"

Oh well. I wish them luck.

I examined the card. At the back, I saw a little note.

_Are you hungry? I sure am._

Huh? Okay… I guess I would go to the refrigerator- assuming a human sent this. But who do I know?

I went there. We didn't need it, of course. It was just for appearance. I opened it, and I saw a card stuck inside. I yanked it off.

_Time passes by-_

"Renesmee?"

I quickly turned around and I placed the card behind.

"Uncle Jasper? What do you want?"

"Emmett did something really stupid to Rosalie. He blindfolded her and made her eat chocolates. She got mad, and Emmett blamed you immediately. She ordered me to find out if it was true," he explained.

"Well…" I snickered.

"So it _is_ your fault," he raised his brow.

"Tell her sorry?" I suggested, not sounding sorry.

"But if you ask me, it was hilarious. The look on Rosalie's face was priceless!" he laughed.

"Did it look anything like this?" I asked, and I touched his arm, and thought of a fuming Rosalie, smoke coming out her ears.

"Not even close," he smiled. "I have to go now."

Finally I was alone. I suddenly regretted suggesting the whole thing to Uncle Emmett. Now I ruined his Valentine's. I need to do something about this…

I got the card out.

_Time passes by_

_And I don't see you for days_

_So imagine how I feel _

_When I finally see your face_

_Love,_

_J. W._

Aw… That is so sweet. I examined it. No more little notes. But behind it, I saw two letters: _A.C._

I wanted- no, I _needed_ to know who this came from.

Which was how I found myself going to Aunt Alice for help.

"Hey! I need your help!" I yelled, banging her door. I heard some shuffling, and she came out, shutting the door behind her.

"Yeah?"

"I need your help," I said, holding the cards up.

Her eyes lit up as she skimmed the cards. "Ah, a mystery admirer!"

"Can you 'see' who this came from?" I asked. "Look into the future or something.

"I can try," she wrinkled her nose and spaced out. A few seconds after, she came back.

"I'm not saying anything right now. It's going to ruin the surprise. All I'm saying is that you need to change into something nicer, because you need to be at this place," she said mysteriously; then she slammed the door.

My curiousness kicked in, and I pressed my ear against the door.

"_Plan's working- It's all going smoothly…"_

"_You sure? Give… call… now."_

Something was up, and I'm getting to the bottom of it.

I quickly changed into a strapless red dress, which reached my knees. My bronze curls were tumbling down my shoulders. I went down to see Aunt Alice tapping her foot impatiently.

"You look beautiful," she said. "Now, we need to go."

As we went out, I saw Aunt Rosalie pulling Uncle Emmett by the ear. He was yelping loudly. I tapped her shoulder.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, it was entirely my fault. Don't blame it on him," I begged. "Blame it on me." She raised her brow, and I quickly ran out and climbed in the Porsche. Aunt Alice sped away. We soon arrived at the forest. We ad to continue the rest of the trip on foot. At least my dress wasn't ruined. We finally arrived at a small clearing. I gasped. It was beautiful. A big blanket covered the grass, wild flowers surrounding it. A little stream was burbling happily nearby. A big basket sat in the middle. (A/N: NOT Edward's meadow!!!)

I sighed. Whoever set this up was not human, A.K.A. not Jake.

"Uh, Aunt Alice," I turned around. She's gone. "Hello?"

I walked over to the blanket and sat down. I noticed _another_ card on it. I picked it up, and read it half-heartedly.

_I was never sure if you felt _

_As strongly as I do_

_But one thing's for sure_

_Nessie, I love you_

_HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY_

_Love, _

_Jacob _

"Happy Valentine's Day, Nessie."

"Jacob," I said calmly, even though my heart was pounding. I heard him walking towards me. He sat down, looking nervous.

A few awkward seconds passed by, and neither of us made an attempt to speak.

"Look- Did I make you angry?" Jacob blurted.

I looked at him in surprise. "Huh?"

"I thought I freaked you out- that I was laying the I love you's too thick," he explained uncomfortably.

"No, no." I shook my head. I gestured to the cards. "They're actually very sweet. Thank you, Jacob. This means a lot to me."

His eyes lit up. "Huh," he muttered to himself. He got something from his back and gave it to me. It was a card with one short sweet sentence.

_Be My Valentine_

"Of course, Jake!" I said happily. He smiled, and got my hand gently. He slipped a ring on my finger.

"What, you're proposing to me now?" I asked, only half- sarcastic.

"I wish." He made a face. "This is just a promise ring. Your dad is going to kill me. That's the reason why I couldn't go to your house, you know. He would have read my mind. That's why only Alice knows. In fact, she organized everything, she planted all the clues." He was babbling now. I didn't know he babbled. He opened the basket and got a cup. "This is blood, you know. I got it from Carlisle. Of course, he doesn't now what for. And that W. is for Wolfe. It was Bella's idea, but I think you were too young to remember-"

"Jake," I cut in. "Are you nervous?"

He paused. "Yeah," he admitted.

I smiled. "Good."

I leaned forward and kissed him. The kiss was sweet and gentle, and soon, his warm hands were on my face.

My mind instantly went blank. All I could think of was me and Jacob.

Forever.

* * *

**Don't you think it's weird? Mother and daughter both Jacob's valentine? Please review! I did this 3 times for you… Review!**

**Jen**


	5. Twilight Down the Toilet Part One

**It's April Fool's Day, Emmett's expertise! I'm trying to make it fit his personality, so there will be very many proud boastings. :) But after all, its Emmett guys!**

* * *

Twilight Down the Toilet - Part One: The Beginning

Emmett's POV:

Yesterday, before the stroke of midnight, I placed notes all over the house, warning everyone of this day. April Fool's Day.

_Hello there!_

_If you're reading this, beware! Tomorrow, pranks will be everywhere! Face the great Emmett, do you dare?_

_Take care,_

_Your Worst Nightmare_

I know, I know. It is a total work of art. It is pure genius. After all, I, Emmett the Magnificent, composed it. And no, I'm not a magician. I'm a vampire.

BOO!!!

Hahahaha! I have scared the little human!

Mwahahahaha...

....One hour after......

...ha...ha...ha...

Okay, enough of my brilliant evil laughter. Laughing evilly is very hard wo-

"EMMETT!!!" Alice roared.

I grinned. This year, I have gone overboard. Instead of the harmless pranks, I went to big annoying ones. Like what I just did to Alice's shoes. I tore away their soles and glued them to the floor, and arranged the remains of the shoes to spell EMMETT. After all, that is my name. She never saw it coming, since it was a snap decision, a flash of inspiration, a sudden action-

Well, you get the picture.

I darted to Edward's room, where Renesmee was writing something.

"Hey Nessie!" I piped up. She jumped. "Do not scare me like that! Do you have a death wish or something?"

"Or something." I shrugged. "Hey, do you want to do a dare?" I asked her eagerly.

She shut up. "Depends on what it is." She eyed me warily.

"Go to the bathroom, close the door, and turn off all the lights. Look at the mirror. Chant 'Bloody Mary' over and over again while turning around with your eyes closed. Ten times after, stop, look at the mirror, and you will see her," I said.

"Yeah, right!" she snorted. "I know about that. That isn't real."

"Hey we're vampires, and we exist. How do you know ghosts don't?" I pointed out. Actually, they aren't actually real. I researched this a week ago. The 'Bloody Mary' Nessie will see is actually just her own reflection, but since it's dark and she's dizzy, it will seem disfigured. It doesn't help that her imagination will play tricks on her. Plus, I had a few tricks up my sleeve.

She considered it. "Hmm... Okay." She went to the bathroom and closed the door.

I soon heard chanting. "Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary... I feel stupid... Bloody Mary..." I quickly made preparations while she chanted. I inserted a disc in Edward's stereo. I went back to the door.

'Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary. See? I don't see anythi- AAH! SHE'S HERE!" She started pounding on the door. I grinned as I held the door firmly. "LET ME OUT!!!" I heard her try to switch the lights on, but I already shorted the circuit. She wouldn't be seeing light in there anytime soon. "UNCLE EMMETT!!!"

I pressed play. The stereos came to life. Evil high pitched laughter came out. The diabolical laughter continued while Nessie shrieked. "_UNCLE EMMETT_!" I started laughing.

I pressed fast forward.

"Your Uncle Emmett is gone... And you, Nessie, are MINE! Mwahahaha!"

She shrieked again and pounded on the door. "She knows my name! She's- she's going to eat me!"

I was laughing so hard, tears were forming a puddle already. I clutched my stomach while I doubled over with laughter. Her screams continued.

"Emmett? What's going on?" I turned around to see Bella, looking at me curiously. Uh-oh. Busted! It was very clear I was up to something, since I was holding the door back while screams and laughter continued. It had a Halloween haunted house effect.

"Mommy? Is that you? SAVE ME!"

"Emmett... What did you do?" Bella growled.

I tried to bluff my way out of it. "Well," I began pleasantly. "You see here-"

"HELP ME!!!"

Bella snarled, and attacked me. Luckily, I was able to slide away in time. Bella, however, was not so lucky. The door swung open instantly, and hit her, smack in the face.

"EMMETT!!! YOU ARE SO DEAD!"

Hello, Bella? I _am_ dead.

As I ran away (I know, real brave of the Great Emmett. But I had to save myself do I can do my other pranks!), I heard Nessie sobbing.

"She was about to eat me!" she babbled. "See? Wait- where is she?"

I giggled. VICTORY IS MINE!

Emmett - 1, Nessie and Bella - 0.

I got a bottle of lice powder and tiptoed quietly down the stairs. I saw Jasper reading a book. I snorted quietly. Today is _April Fool's Day_, one of the most legendary days _ever_, and he spends it by reading a BOOK? He really needs a life...

I tiptoed quietly down the stairs until I was just able to reach his head. I opened the bottled and sprinkled it in his hair. He didn't even bat an eye. Laughing silently, I crept back upstairs. I left in the bathroom sink with its cover open, so that when Esme sees this, she'll have a heart attack! But I don't want her to die...

I went to my room and got out my brand new cell phone. It's very pretty actually...

I dialled a number.

"Hello?" Jasper said politely. "May I know who this is?"

"Yeah," I said, making my voice really deep. "I would like to speak to Alice and Edward."

"I'm sorry, but they're both busy... May I take a message?" What was he, an answering machine? He also sounded so... _formal._ He's a weird guy... kinda like me, actually.

"Actually, I need to talk to you also," I said.

'Okay," he replied. "Ugh... my head is so itchy..."

I covered the receiver while I laughed. It worked!

Emmett - 2, Jasper - 0

"This is the zoo," I said after I stopped laughing. "You still haven't attended your meeting with Jay Raffe and Bab Heun."

"Huh?"

"Tell Alice that Ty Gere is mad at her for stealing his stripes. They are not supposed to be used for fashion and they will never be in style. And tell Edward that Ellie Font wants his tusk back. Also tell Rosalie that Anna Conda is waiting to eat her!" I paused. "This is Mr. Bear, signing off!"

"Bu-" I hung up.

Smiling in satisfaction, I prepared for my next prank. Suddenly, my phone rang.

"FYI, Emmett," I heard Jasper's cool voice. "The next prank is on you." Then he hung up.

What? Did he just do that? No! That means my plan failed!

So that means:

Emmett - 2, Jasper - 1.

Hmph.

I looked for Edward. Finally, I found him by his piano, writing another composition. In my head, I tried to keep it quiet. No use.

"What do you want, Emmett?" he asked in his velvet voice. I immediately blocked my thoughts by singing... Itsy Bitsy Spider!

_The itsy bitsy spider_

_Climbed up the water spout_

_Down came the rain_

_And washed the spider out_

_Up came the sun-_

"Emmett, if you're planning on scaring me with a spider, don't bother," he interrupted my mental singing.

I walked to him and slapped his back in a friendly way. What he didn't know was that there was a note in my palm, which was now stuck to his back. I giggled.

"Emmett..." he growled, staring at me.

_Edward Cullen_ is staring at me_... WOW_. What an honor.

He snorted, hearing my thoughts.

"Hey, bro," I said casually.

"Hey to you too." His eyes narrowed in suspicion, knowing I was up to something.

"Later, Eddie," I snickered, walking out.

_And dried up all the rain_

_And the itsy bitsy spider_

_Came out the spout again..._

"Don't call me Eddie!" he yelled.

I sneaked one last look at his back. I looked at the note with big bold red letters, saying:

I'M SEXY. EVEN BELLA SAID SO. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, GO ASK HER. YOU CAN KICK ME TOO, IF YOU WANT. ~EDDIE

I am so dead when he finds out. At least it's worth dying for... I think.

Emmett - 3, Edward - a big fat zero!

Once again, all the victory goes to the GREAT EMMETT!

* * *

**The story isn't over yet, not by a long shot! I will post part two sometime soon, then that will be the end. :( I have a question for you guys:**

**A rooster laid an egg. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew. Where did the egg go: North, South, East or West?**

**That is really easy. :) **

**-0-**

**Emmett: Review guys, okay? Don't you want to read the continuation of my pranks?**

**Jen: Yeah, guys, please review!**

**Emmett: *glares at her* I'm not yet done talking!**

**Jen: *rolls eyes* Sorry.**

**Emmett: Thank you. Now, everyone, in part two, you will learn why this story was given this title. And you get to laugh at Rosalie and Carlisle! Plus, you get to meet the mysterious Sugarloaf! I know, I know. You don't have to say it, I already know it. I'm awesome.**

**Jen: *mumble* vain *mumble***

**Emmett: Press the pretty white button and make me smile!**

**-Backstage-**

**Jen: (faces Emmett) Now you're stealing my lines? You're fired!**

**Emmett: *bursts into tears* NOOO!!! I'M SO SORRY! I promise to behave better and.... blah... blah... blah....**

**Jen: *tunes him out***

**-0-**

**Hehehe... I had fun typing that. Emmett is... very full of himself, don't you think? Now, does anybody know who Sugarloaf is? Hint: It has something to do with Kellan, the guy who plays Emmett. Now listen to what Emmett said and press the button! :D Wow, the longest author's note ever! I'm shutting up now.**

**Jen**

**P.S. - Do you want me to do another conversation like the one above in the next chapter? Just tell me if you do, and I will do it. :D**


	6. Twilight Down the Toilet Part Two

**And I'm back! Thanks for the reviews! Did you know that I had to type about half of this chapter again since it got deleted? But then I added more stuff anyway. :)**

* * *

Twilight Down the Toilet – Part Two: The Ending

Emmett's POV:

After my _awesome _prank at Edward, I went to Carlisle's study and went to his chair that went twirly- twirly. I loosened the screws, so when Carlisle sits on this- SPLAT! I placed a whoopee cushion on the chair, and voila, I was finished. His study had two entrances- so I placed a bucket of red water on top of the doorway he frequently used. So to review this awesome prank: Carlisle goes in, and he gets wet. His first reaction will be to sit down- so the whoopee cushion goes PRRT! And he goes SPLAT!

I was about to leave when the rigged door opened...

...causing the bucket to fall on Rosalie's head.

"What the hell is this, Emmett?" Her hair was soaked with red water, along with her stained clothes. Following my gaze, she looked down.

"What the hell? _Emmett_!" she exploded. "Do you know this is _designer_? And it took me _months _to find this? Her white boots were stained and soaking, so she sat down on the chair I just tampered before I could warn her...

...Prrt!...

...and she fell flat on her butt as the chair fell apart.

"Rosalie!" I exclaimed. "Now you ruined my prank meant for Carlisle!"

She glared at me and hit my head- hard. "I'm getting my revenge right now," she said acidly. "From now on, I am off-limits. For a month, no touching, no kissing, no NOTHING."

She stalked away angrily before I could even reply. She went out using the other door, slamming it hard. I winced.

Emmett - 4, Rosalie - 1

The rigged door opened, and Carlisle stepped in.

"What hap- ow!" Carlisle slid in the red water and hit a wall.

"What is this?" he asked, baffled. "Is this blood?" He took an experimental sniff. "Nope. Its just colored water."

I snickered and went out before he could ask me what I did.

Emmett – 5, Carlisle – 0

As I was walking, I bumped into Esme. I steadied her as she staggered.

"Oh, Emmett! I saw an open bottle of lice powder in the bathroom. Do _you_ have lice?"

"_No, after all, I was the one who planted it there,"_ I wanted to say. Instead, I said, "No, of course not! But maybe you should go ask… say, Jasper?"

"Ah!" she exclaimed. "So it _was _you who placed it on poor Jasper's head!"

Busted. In one fluid motion, Esme had dumped the entire bottle on my hair.

"Hey!" I yelled. "What did you do that for?"

She just laughed, running away quickly. Who would have thought _Esme_ of all people would put _lice_ on your hair?

Emmett – 5, Esme – 1

I stopped by in my room to get a bag. Then, I went to Eddie's room. No one was there, thankfully. I opened my bag and started scattering the fur everywhere. Yes, _fur_. Fur that belonged to Jacob, because whenever Jacob phased, fur would fly everywhere. He was only too happy to help me with this, especially when he found out the prank was for Edward. Edward will be under the impression that Jacob was here, he got mad, and phased. He'd have a heart attack…

Emmett – 6, Edward – 0

I suddenly spotted my baseball cap on his table, half hidden by all the books. I grabbed it and placed it on my head. Just in time to feel something cold move.

I shrieked and threw it to the ground. I peered at it. Whew. It was just a lizard. Ooh… That was good.

Emmett – 6, Edward – 1

I picked the lizard and placed it inside the CD case labelled 'Bella's Lullaby'. How's that for revenge? I thought I'd lost my cap, since it was gone for a month already!

Emmett – 7, Edward – 1

I noticed a big black book sitting inconspicuously on the table. I picked it up and glanced at Bella's enormous book shelf. Sure enough, there was a space big enough for the book. I looked at the title.

twilight

THE #1 _NEW YORK TIMES _BESTSELLER BY

STEPHENIE MEYER

It had a picture of pale white hands holding an apple. Seriously, an _apple._ How boring. Unless… maybe the story is like Snow White! Like the older version of it! She could have been holding the apple! That would be so cool… Eagerly, I looked at its back cover.

_About three things I was absolutely positive._

_First, Edward was a vampire._

_Second, there was a part of him-_

_And I didn't know how dominant that part might be-_

_that thirsted for my blood._

_And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably_

_in love with him._

DEEPLY SEDUCTIVE AND EXTRAORDINARILY SUSPENSEFUL,

_TWILIGHT _IS A LOVE STORY WITH BITE.

Well, that sucked. There's no mention of Snow White! Instead, it's all about _Edward _and _vampires_! Well, no wonder she's reading it!

But still. I prefer Snow White to some love story involving _Edward, _of all people!

I had a quick flash of inspiration. I went to the bathroom, book in hand. I hung my cap on the doorknob, so that it wouldn't fall. I opened the toilet seat and dumped the book inside. I flushed it. I watched it as the water swirled around, but the book didn't go in. Huh. I tried flushing it again, but nothing happened. Oh well.

Emmett – 8, Edward - 1

I left it there and went downstairs, where I started preparing for yet _another _prank. This one was going to be a _big _one! Just as I finished, Bella appeared.

I froze, thinking that I was caught in preparing my prank.

"It's okay, I won't bite you," she said sarcastically. "We're getting our revenge later anyway."

Oh… so she thought I was scared of _her_. Ha! As if!

"Bella, would you mind sitting with me here for a while?" I asked. "Please? I need to talk to you about something." I gave her my best puppy dog face. (A/N: Cute!)

She sighed. "Fine."

I began. "Edward has… problems." Bella nodded, bored. "He is… vain."

She snorted. "The only was Edward and vain would fit in one sentence is 'Edward is _not_ vain'."

"Yes, he is," I argued. "He said he's sexy."

Bella gaped at me.

"So is he?" I asked her.

She started stuttering.

"Wait-" I interrupted her as I ducked under the table and swiftly tied her feet together with a piece of string.

"Sorry about that- itchy foot," I lied. "Now, is Edward sexy?"

"Wait- did he really say that?" she asked dubiously.

"Well, no," I admitted. "It was in a note in his back."

"So he didn't put it there! So this was all a prank!" she said triumphantly. Wow, Bella, real slow of you. You just caught that now?

I decided to play with her some more. "Yes, Bella. This was all a prank set by me and Edward." I pretended to be defeated. "You caught us. He's there behind you, about to poke you."

Just as I thought she would, she jumped and whiled around- no Edward. What did happen is that she tripped on the rope holding her feet. She staggered, and fell down, only to activate my prank by landing on the rope. Honey poured on her and the electric fan turned on, scattering feathers everywhere.

She looked like a chicken. No more lion and the lamb.

_And so the lion fell in love with the chicken._

"Why am I covered with feathers?"

I laughed and got out of there before she would realize that the rope holding her feet couldn't last against a vampire.

Emmett – 9, Bella – 0

I went back to my room. I got some butter and… leverage. I went back downstairs and did some stuff. Once I finished, I decided I still had some time for another prank call.

Just as I was about to pick the phone up, it rang. I picked it up curiously.

"Hello?" I said.

"This is the police department. You are under arrest!" A female voice said. I heard giggles in the background. Alice, Bella, and Rosalie's giggles.

"Oh yeah?" I challenged. "What for?"

They were quiet. I heard some shuffling and another voice yelled into the receiver. "For hunting grizzly bears when it's not hunting season!"

"Well, mountain lions are no irritable grizzly," I pointed out.

"Well, why don't you just eat Sugarloaf?" another voice piped up.

"No way!" I yelled. "I love Sugarloaf!"

I heard some muffled voices.

"Who's Sugarloaf?" I heard Alice ask.

"It's Emmett's stuffed leopard," Rosalie answered.

"Give me the phone!" Bella demanded.

"We have Sugarloaf under arrest!" Bella threatened. "And if you don't apologize to us, we're going to kill him!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah right. Go kill him. Bye, Bells! Tell Alice and Rose that I'm not scared of them." I hung up. You know how I know that they didn't have him? Easy. He's with me. That's right. I bring Sugarloaf everywhere with me. That's our little secret, okay?

Emmett – 10, B.R.A. – 0

(A/N: B.R.A. – Bella, Rosalie and Alice. Get it?)

Yeah… from now on, I'm going to call them the B.R.A.'s! Now _that_ is the best nickname ever! I am a genius! G-I-N-Y-O-U-S!

I decided that it was time to mess with Rosalie.

"ROSALIE!" I boomed from the bottom of the stairs. "Your precious scarf is on fire!"

Well, it worked immediately.

The door banged open, and Rosalie came out, a wild look in her eyes. Her gaze fell on the scarf I was holding in an I'm-about-to-rip-your-scarf-and-there's-nothing-you-can-do-about-it position.

"NOO!" she shrieked. "Not my Denny and George scarf!"

She took one step forward-

-and London Bridge came tumbling down.

Well, not really. Rosalie came tumbling down. I placed butter all over the stairs. She managed to get a hold about half way down, but she moved a bit, and she started slipping again. "Emmett!" she managed to yell. She soon gave up trying to get a hold of herself and just fell down- free fall, since she'd probably do more damage to the ground.

When the flight of stairs ended, she fell right in my waiting arms.

She opened her eyes slowly. "I'm alive!" she gasped mockingly. She paused and glared at me. "Put me down this instant, mister!"

"Nope," I said, enjoying watching her squirm.

"I said _put me down right now_!!!" she yelled, pounding on my chest. Good thing I'm strong. It has a _big_ advantage.

"Sure," I said. "Right after this." I leaned in and kissed her lips. She stopped trying to escape and kissed me back, in spite of her 'rule'.

After a five minute make out session, she broke away. I let her down.

"You had better enjoyed that. That's the last kiss you'll receive from me for a _month_. You're not forgiven yet." She walked away, smirking.

Emmett – 11, Rosalie – 1

Crap. And I thought I had her. Why else do you think I released her? If I knew that she would escape, I would have never released her! I would have attacked her with my kisses, hugged the life out of her, showered her with praises-

My ranting was interrupted by a shrill shriek. "_EMMETT! WHY THE HELL IS MY 'TWILIGHT' DOWN THE TOILET_!?!"

Crap. How did she know that I did that?

Oh right… I left my baseball cap hanging on the doorknob. I forgot to get it!

Huh. Guess sometimes the Great Emmett _is_ sometimes stupid. _Sometimes._

* * *

**Okay… this is the end, guys! I hope you had fun reading it! I was supposed to end it with some fluff, but then I thought, 'This is Emmett! The ending should be funny or something!" And he finally admitted he's stupid. :D I had fun writing this chapter… In all, the whole thing must be about four thousand words! Oh yeah, Sugarloaf is the stuffed leopard of Kellan. And roosters don't lay eggs. ;D**

**-0-**

**Jen: Review!**

**Emmett: Yeah, review, or else…**

**Jen: Sugarloaf dies!**

**Emmett: *eyes pop out of head* WHAT? I never allowed that!**

**Jen: *rolls eyes* Yeah, well I say he can. I control you, you know. In my next fic, I can make you jump off the cliff like Bella and die! **

**Emmett: *sulks***

**Jen: Now review… or Sugarloaf dies!**

**-Backstage-**

**Emmett: I QUIT!**

**Jen: *gapes at him* But you just got rehired!**

**Emmett: But not if my leopard dies! I want him to live a long and happy life, and have little cubs, and… blah… blah… blah**

**Jen: *tunes him out* (again)**

**-0-**

**Poor Emmett… :D Now, don't you want Sugarloaf to live?**

**Jen**


	7. An Easter to Remember, Forever & Always

**It's Easter! I'd just like to thank everyone for the reviews for the previous chapter. :D **

* * *

An Easter to Remember, Forever and Always

Alice's POV:

I was daydreaming when the world went dark.

Well, not exactly. Two, cold, _furry _hands covered my hands. The moment they came in contact with my skin, I let out a very shrill shriek.

"Hahahahaha! Now _that _was hilarious!"

I growled angrily and whirled around quickly.

But I did not expect the sight that met me. I started laughing so hard that tears streamed down my face.

'What's so funny?" Emmett asked, looking at his costume. He was dressed in a ... rabbit's suit. Yes, a _rabbit's suit_. It was bright pink, complete with floppy ears and a bushy tail. He also attached fake whiskers on his face, and he painted his nose pink. There was even a basket of eggs dangling from his arm.

"You're in a... _rabbit's suit_," I managed to choke out between giggles.

'Yeah, that's the point!" He rolled his eyes dramatically. "I'm in the spirit of Easter!"

Something is very wrong here.

"Guys!" Emmett yelled. "I need you to come down here! I have something important to- Oh, good, you're all here." As Emmett was yelling, everyone came down, to stop him. They took one look at him, and everyone burst out laughing.

"Now, I want you all to stay here, while I plant the eggs around the house. Once I give you the signal, you may all start looking for the eggs. After all have been found, we will have another contest! We will paint the eggs we have found, and whoever paints the prettiest egg will win a prize! I will reveal it to you later. The one who gets the most eggs and the one who finds the egg in my hardest hiding place will also get a prize."

Edward picked an egg from Emmett's basket and scrutinized it. "You're using real eggs? What happened to the good old fake ones?"

"I have my reasons," he said mysteriously. "I forgot one more thing. While I am hiding all the eggs, you should also hide one egg for me to find in this room. Its should also have a prize." He sniffed. "After all, I don't want to be the only one to miss on all the fun. Get ready, okay?" He hopped out of the room.

"I have never seen Emmett like that..." Rosalie trailed off. "That was pretty..."

"Cute?" I suggested.

She snorted. "Hardly." Hmph. I thought he looked cute in it.

"Weird?" Bella cut in.

"Shocking?' Jasper snickered.

"Funny!" Nessie smirked/squealed.

"Freaky." Edward stated.

"Exactly!" she said, snapping her fingers.

"Guys, do you want to start planning his prize?" I interrupted.

"Looks like we're supposed to use this," Bella mused, holding a white egg in her hand. "I wonder how this will taste... I used to love eating these when I was human."

Jasper made gagging noises.

"Guys!" I yelled, irritated that nobody was listening to me. "What should be his prize?"

"I think I know... Bella gave me the idea," Rosalie said, an evil glint in her eyes. "But I need someone who can cook..."

"I like your plan," Edward immediately said. "And I'll do the cooking."

"Well, then. Let's get to work," I instructed. "After all, we're running out of time."

-0-

"I'm done!" Emmett announced, hopping in.

"So are we," Bella said smugly.

"Hey, have you been... hopping all over?" Rosalie asked.

"Of course I did!" Emmett looked at us like we were insane. "I am, of course, the Easter Bunny!"

"You mean Easter Emmett?" Bella smirked.

'Hey... I like that! Easter Emmett... _the_ Easter Emmett... The house is yours! Go look for the eggs!" He whistled shrilly, and all of us were out of there in a flash, looking for the eggs, eager for the prizes. However, knowing Emmett, the prizes are probably going to be... well, stupid.

No offense to Emmett.

-0-

_**About an hour later…**_

Emmett made us sit around the dining table. We have already found all of the eggs... all _fifty_ of them. The Easter Emmett really went overboard with this one, alright.

"Okay! I will tell you what your fabulous prizes are...later. First, we decorate the eggs!" He grinned at us. He got some paint and placed it on the table.

I had found seven of the eggs, since I used my vision to see where he hid the eggs. Hey, he never said no cheating! Besides, I know Edward read his mind, too.

Emmett was painting his own very 'special' egg, the one we hid.

I painted my first egg all black, and then I added some white polka dots. Not very original, I know, but I still had six eggs. Besides, I was still waiting for my creativity to come.

I was concentrating on finishing one yellow strip when I heard a crack. All heads turned to Emmett, who was staring in shock at the mess on his table.

"Um... nice. Very nice," Rosalie smirked.

"It was my only egg!" he wailed.

"Not really," Edward muttered quietly. I kicked his leg.

"Now the Easter Emmett won't be able to participate in the contest!" Emmett said sadly.

I thought fast. "That's good!"

He looked like he wanted to strangle me.

"No, no. This way, you can be the judge!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah!" he enthused. "I can choose the prettiest egg I like the best!'

"Big Baby Easter Emmett," Edward muttered.

-0-

Emmett looked at all the eggs. He was really taking his 'job' seriously.

Finally, he was able to pick his top three favorites.

One was a green egg with a painting of a teddy bear, courtesy of moi.

Another was a mass of jumbled up colors, which was really pretty like a rainbow, done by Nessie.

The last one was a... well; it was like an abstract egg, done by Jasper. I still don't get how Emmett can like it. Don't get me wrong, I know it's... unique in its own way, but I don't get it. No offense to Jasper, but it was pretty. Pretty weird.

And _hour _later of deciding, Emmett finally declared that he had a winner in mind.

"And the winners are... Alice and Jasper!" he announced.

"B- But..... That can't be!" poor Nessie stuttered.

"Why are there two winners?" Edward demanded.

"Well, I couldn't decide," Emmett admitted. "So I did Eenie Meenie Miney Mo, and I got Jasper's egg. But then I decided that I really did like Alice's the best, but then I already chose Jasper's. Besides, I know Eenie Meenie Miney Mo doesn't lie, so I just chose both."

"I see," Bella nodded, even though she clearly didn't 'see' it.

"What's our prize?" Jasper asked uninterestedly.

"Later, first, you give me my prize," Emmett demanded.

"You sure?" I asked. He nodded. "Okay, Bella, you do the honors."

She got another egg and showed it to Emmett. "You have another egg for me," he said tearfully, deeply touched. I giggled.

Bella cracked the egg open and peeled away the shell. That's why someone who could cook was needed, since the egg had to be cooked. When she finished, she handed the egg to Emmett. "Now eat," she commanded.

His mouth dropped open. "You want me to... _eat _the egg? _That's _my prize?"

"You have to," Jasper said seriously. "All Easter Emmett's need to know how an egg tastes like." Emmett considered it. He popped the egg into his mouth and he turned green. His expression turned sour and he clamped his hands over his mouth. He still continued chewing until he finally swallowed.

"Yuck! That tasted _horrible_. I think when Easter Emmetts hide eggs; they're supposed to stay hidden and never seen again!" He shuddered.

Bella got another egg which had been cooked and peeled away the shell.

"Bella, love, what are you doing?" Edward asked worriedly.

She scoffed. "Don't keep on worrying. I just want to see why Emmett thinks it tastes so horrible." She took a big bite of it. Her eyes bulged out. "Oh god," she mumbled as she ran to the sink and spat it out.

"Eew...*spit* that was horrible! Why does it taste like that? *spit* It didn't taste like that before..." She was able to get the taste out of her mouth after a few minutes. "How did Emmett stand that?" she muttered.

"Now, I would like to award Edward, for finding the most eggs," he announced as we clapped our hands, knowing he had read Emmett's mind plenty of times.

Emmett got a wrapped bow and gave it to him. "Here's your prize. Go open it!"

He opened it curiously. As he lifted it cover, something leapt at his face.

"_EMMETT_!" he shrieked as his chair fell backwards, the… _thing _still attached to his face. He tried to pull it away from his face.

"Do you like him? It's a stray dog I picked up," he beamed. "Edward, meet Jacob."

Hearing the dog's name, Bella pulled the little brown dog gently from Edward's face and stroked its fur.

"Hi Jacob!" she giggled. He yipped happily and licked her face.

"Great, now there are _two _dogs named Jacob," Rosalie muttered. Edward eyed the dog warily. "Edward, you have Jacob's slobber all over your face," she said tactlessly.

"Sorry, Rosalie, I didn't notice the warm sticky feeling of it," he said sarcastically.

"You have to take a bath, Jacob!" Bella said, stroking his fur. He barked happily, sitting comfortably on her lap. Edward glared at it as he wiped the saliva from his face. I smacked his arm.

"Don't be jealous of the _dog_," I chided him. "You're her husband, for crying out loud!" He shifted his glare at directed it to me. I ignored him.

"I will now award Rosalie for finding the egg in the hardest hiding place!" Translation: The egg in his underwear drawer. "Rosalie, you get a teddy-bear ride!"

"Yay!" she exclaimed dryly.

"But don't you guys have a no- touching rule for a month since Emmett destroyed your clothes and shoes last April 1?" Edward asked.

"Thanks you, mind reader, but you don't have to read our minds _all _the time, you know?" Rosalie complained.

"Sheesh, there's nothing to hide since Emmett blurts out everything he thinks and your thoughts are all shallow," he muttered, too low for them to hear.

"He does have a point," I interrupted.

"What about you just exclude this day and let the rule stop on May 1?" Jasper offered.

"Good for me," Emmett shrugged. Rosalie didn't look so eager. "I'm not so sure..." she muttered.

"Come on!" He hoisted her up his shoulders. "It'll be fun," he promised.

"Put me down this instant," she demanded.

"Later," he dismissed her, walking through a doorway.

*THUNK*

"Oops," Emmett said, wide-eyed. Rosalie's head hit the top of the doorway, and she fell unconscious. He started slapping her cheeks roughly. "Hello? Rosalie?"

"You really knocked her out," Renesmee commented. "If I were you, I would just wait for her to wake up when I'm far, far away... Or else, she _will _kill you."

"Good point," he said. He lifted her and laid her on the couch. He faced Renesmee. "Now for your reward for getting second." He gave her a big bear hug and kissed her on both cheeks. She wiped it away disgustedly. "It's wet with saliva! How does Aunt Rosalie stand it?" she whined.

"Now for Alice and Jasper," he said. I braced myself for the worst. "Your amazing prize is a chance to kiss me, the Easter Emmett!"

"Um, sorry, but I have Alice, thank you," Jasper said. "Besides, no offense, but you're not exactly my type, since you're not short and pixie like."

Short?!? Who's calling who short?

I got an idea. "Come on! It's just for fun! Besides..." I whispered something in Jasper's ear.

"Well, if you put it _that _way..." Jasper quickly agreed.

"Okay, Emmett, you stay in between me and Jasper and we will kiss you in the cheeks together," I instructed. "Emmett, close your eyes."

I looked at Jasper and nodded my head slightly- my go signal.

I leaned forward, but just as I was about to reach his cheeks, I leaned to the right and kissed Jasper instead.

A while later, I heard Emmett whine, "Where's my kiss?" He mustn't have felt anything, so he opened his eyes.

We ignored him.

"Hey! This is not fair! You tricked the Easter Emmett!" I vaguely noticed everyone leave us, Edward and Bella dragging Emmett out while he continued complaining.

I wrapped my arms around Jasper, deepening the kiss.

We broke apart after a few more seconds.

"So that was your plan," he smiled. "Poor Emmett. You're one smart pixie, you know."

I giggled happily. "Yep, that's me!" I said proudly.

"The pixie and the empath together, forever and always," Jasper murmured.

I like that line- Forever and Always.

* * *

**One more chapter left! :( It's not actually a holiday, but its perfect for the last chapter... I just need to plan the plot now. If you have any more holidays in mind, please tell me. Except for Thanksgiving, I'm not including that, since they don't eat. Oh yeah, do you know the song Forever and Always by Taylor Swift? If you don't, I recommend you listen to it, as well as her other songs. I'm addicted to them; I almost have all her songs! Please review... :D**

**Jen**


	8. Author's Note

Hey guys!

Wow… it's been months since I last posted in FF.

Anyway, I'm sorry if I brought your hopes up, but I post this bringing bad news. I was supposed to add one more chapter, told in Edward's POV, but I forgot about it, and I've lost interest in Twilight. I know I told you I was gonna post it, but I just don't want to write it anymore.

So… on the brighter side, if any of you is still interested, I'm currently in the process of finishing another Twilight mini-fic. I know I said that I wasn't interested in it anymore, but it was actually started a year ago, and I'm sooo close to finishing it, and it's long, so it would be a waste to just end it. If any of you are interested in reading it, tell me so that I'd post the link here once I finally upload it. But it would take months, depending on my mood.

So…. Once again I'm sorry. But who knows, I could continue writing…. :D

-Jen


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